Set new goals that offer challenge and the chance for success.

When we undergo any crisis, it is quite common for our self-esteem to dip somewhat.  As we are handed one crisis after another, our feelings of self-worth can wane from day to day.

Goals that we may have set for ourselves now seem impossible to achieve.  We put them on the back burner and forget about them....or maybe we think about them but don't think we are capable of doing them as well as we would like before the crisis hit.

Now consider that crisis is the diagnosis with a chronic illness.  

Goal-setting for someone with a chronic illness can seem like a waste of time. How are we ever supposed to succeed at a goal when our body is fighting against us?

I’ve learned a few things over the years I’ve been ill and one is that it is possible to set and achieve goals. You just have to go about it differently than most.

You have to take time to nourish your dreams! Illness or disability do not have to prevent you from reaching them.

Last month, I set a goal for an Art sale and exhibit in November.   To accomplish this I have to have completed a significant body of work to have anything to exhibit or sell.  So far I have completed 6 paintings and would like to complete at least 3 more each month until November.  That would give me 9 more to do. I also set a goal to write at least 4 articles per month. I try to write at least 1000 words a day.  Some days, I don’t have time to write, or I may not feel like doing it. So, I make sure to listen to my body, to not stress over it too much, and, to manage my time so that I can still stay on track with my goals.

Time management, and managing expectations are two great ways to also reach those dreams. Is your goal to stop smoking? To exercise more or drop a few pounds? To eat healthier? To learn a new language? To volunteer? To start knitting? To start drawing?

Here are the nine things I think are important when setting goals:

1. Be realistic.

It’s not going to do you a bit of good to set a goal you have no way of accomplishing. I’ve always admired people who complete triathlons, but let’s be honest here, that is not going to happen with me.  I did set a goal to complete a marathon and started to train for it ...until I had a minor surgery to implant a heart monitor.  That minor surgery set me back 4 weeks in training. So I set goal for a half marathon. Then I had another minor surgery...and then another.  Soon I had to say to my self...."Maybe this is not the year that i complete that marathon or half-marathon."  That wouldn't mean that my life is over. I had other things I wanted to accomplish.  Make sure your goal pushes you but make it one you have the ability to achieve. If taking better care of yourself is on your list, then work on that. 

2. Make it motivational. 

If you can already walk on a treadmill for 10 minutes at a time, setting a goal to walk on a treadmill for 15 minutes a day, three days a week by the end of the year isn’t stretching yourself. Give yourself something to push toward. That’s when you really feel alive — when you see yourself reaching goals that took effort to accomplish. Recently, I noticed that my art work took off on a slightly different style.  I noticed that it occurred around the time when I suffered a slight psychosis....although my psychiatrist stated that he was not concerned due to the fact that I was educated and knew how to handle the hallucinations that I was experiencing.  I decided to put that into my art....the subject matter.  People want to buy art that they can relate to, or art that is created based on the artist's experiences.  We'll see how that goes in the show.....but my emotions are being put out there.

3. Only set a few goals. 

 I am always reading of people getting college degrees in their 80s, or of running their 30 marathon, or traveling to a certain amount of countries in a set period of time...or climbing a certain mountain.  The quest to beat certain odds never ends, yet so many of us feel that when we get to a certain age it is time to slow down and not set goals. Why???

Don't get me wrong.  I know the challenges of dealing with chronic illness and trying to set goals at the same time.  Last year I decided to home-school my youngest son. He decided to continue with homeschooling this year, and although I have had some setbacks over the last few months, I have worked to get my health back under control to be able to achieve this, as being a mother is my greatest achievement, and I aim to be a great mother no matter the age of my children.

 If you’ve never set goals before, try one or two. If you have set goals in the past I would still stick to no more than four. The amount of time and energy our illness takes is huge. 

4. Always pick one health-related goal. 

You might be tempted to ignore this area of your life altogether because it already demands so much of your time, but your health is essential. Choose a goal that would make you feel a bit healthier when you reach it come next December. Maybe it’s to research your illness better so you feel like you actually know about the disease you're dealing with.  You might want to go to the library to pick a few books, or purchase some kindle books online.  When I was first diagnosed with lupus, I went on a hunt for more natural remedies to heal myself, ranging from herbal remedies to essential oils.

If your goal is to walk for just a few minutes a day, or to spend a few minutes on a nature walk each week....what ever your goal, set it and work toward it.

5. Start slow. 

If your goal is to gain strength, don’t start by joining a gym and trying a 30-minute workout on day one. You’ll only throw yourself into a flare. You might start instead by grabbing some soup cans and doing a few arm curls. As you review your goals, you’ll increase your amount of exercises and repetitions.

If you want to write, set a goal of writing 500 goals a day or a little less, if 500 is still a task.  Gradually build up to 1000 words a day.  I try to write about 500 words at least a day, in addition to painting for at least an hour, working towards my art show in the next 3 months.

6. Don’t always get caught up in an end goal. 

Make progress the true goal. Some goals do have an end game, like writing a book or organizing your house, or my upcoming art sale, or the articles that I write.  Most experts will tell you these are the only kind of goals to make. I tend to argue this when it comes to those with chronic illness. If your goal is to make your body stronger, then decide on a few exercises and number of repetitions you’ll do. Complete that consistently for a week or two and then re-evaluate. Increase the number of exercises and reps as you go.  Give yourself a date to evaluate and you’ll realize how much stronger you'll be than when you started.

7. Break it down into workable chunks. 

Take a few minutes to break each goal up into pieces.  Set yourself up for success. If your goal is to learn about your illness, decide which month you’ll read which book and which months you’ll be doing online research.

8. Review frequently.

Write your goals down on paper and put them somewhere you’ll see them often — if not daily! Set a specific time frame for reviewing your goals. I suggest once a month, but you might choose to review your goals weekly. Whatever you decide is fine. Just be sure to stick to the review periods. These are crucial. During your review period you’ll need to look at your goals and re-access. Don’t toss a goal out the window if it isn’t working right away. Re-assess. Did you try doing too much at once? Did an added illness or extended flare stop you from reaching the goals for that month? You might need to alter the plan a bit.

There are numerous times that I have had to adjust my goals for a particular week because I might have had an infusion that caused a bad reaction and I could not write due to joint pain.  In this case I try my voice to text software.  Sometimes it works and  sometimes it doesn't.  When it takes more work to complete a goal using this method, I just let it go for that day, and alter it for the next day or week.

9. Show yourself some grace, and allow for setbacks.

There are some things you can control when it comes to your health. But let’s face it, our health has a huge control over us. You have to allow yourself the grace to get through the goals or to scrap them all together and regroup, like I mentioned in the previous segment.

The whole point of setting goals is to make progress and be the best you possible. You may find some goals don’t work for you or you may find they aren’t that important to you after all. That’s OK! Just don’t let your illness force you into a situation where you feel like your life is over. Like I’ve said before, it may not be the life you imagined, but it can still be a good one, an inspired one!