What I learned from a walk in the dark.

In two days I will once again be plunged into a world of darkness, when I will be given anesthetic to put me to sleep.  You see, I will be undergoing a biopsy of the stomach and small intestine, and, unlike the uterine biopsy that I had last week (for which I was awake), I cannot be awake throughout this one.  I've been informed that a tube with a camera at the end will be inserted down my esophagus into my stomach and small intestine.  Another tube with an apparatus at the end will take a few "clippings" from the stomach and small intestine, which will be later tested for a variety of things.

When I first learned that I would have to have this procedure, of course I started to think about the other times that I was "put under:"

• the DNC after suffering a miscarriage
• The breast surgery
• ovarian cancer surgery

I flat-lined during the ovarian surgery, so of course that has been on my mind recently.  Even though I know that God himself brought me back from the brink of death, it still makes me wonder, and be a little anxious about this coming Wednesday.

I will be taking a trip into the darkness, again.  Now normally the darkness does not bother me....at least not like it did when I was younger.  Some, or most,  of you can probably relate to having a fear of the dark as a child.

The gift of imagination has granted us the ability to invent ground breaking technology and to surpass nearly every hurdle that mankind has faced. However, this talent has a flipside. The power of imagination is so potent that it is capable of destroying lives and reducing the strongest of men to gibbering wrecks. These terrifying thoughts generally need a catalyst, and the most commonly responsible is the dark.

From an early age, fear of the dark has plagued young children. Sleepless nights wondering what monsters await under the bed or what manner of aberrations live inside the closet are common place.

Fear of the dark has its roots from early man when we were perceived as prey by all manner of fearsome beasts that roamed through the shadows of night. The discovery of fire was hugely influential in primitive engineering circles but perhaps more than anything, it gifted man the ability to overcome darkness and keep perceived and very real dangers at bay.

There is so much that I have learned about darkness, as I have grown. Click on the link below to see just some of the lessons that I have learnt from the darkness, and that I believe the darkness teaches.

http://hubpages.com/health/What-I-Learned-From-A-Walk-In-The-Dark

March 12th, 2017

Since this article was written I have undergone a major surgery, a complete hysterectomy in November 2016, in which the uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, cervix and a massive tumor were removed.  Since that surgery I have had several complications.

There are days that I have sever migraines, where I am screaming.  At other times I am shaking as in in a seizure.  I have developed tremors and am in chronic pain.

Has the thought to give in ever entered my mind?  Sure it has!  It has been a challenging last few months, but I am not a quitter, even though I consider this to be the darkest period of my life.  I hold onto faith and know that things will get better.